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Whenever I saw a beautiful woman (or even a “semi-attractive” one) I got so scared and flustered I literally made myself sick at the thought of approaching her.And then I walked away, wondering “what could have been” if I’d only had the “guts” to go talk to her.Living with Hudson was never easy: he was often out all night with his male friends and was a slob at home.Phyllis complained: "You never empty the ashtrays and you drop your clothes all over the house and I have to pick up after you.The one thing I’ve always been interested in is “how the mind works.” I’ve always been fascinated by psychology and human behavior, and the one big thing I’ve always had going for me is brainpower and the obsessive will to learn new things.

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"It was a loving, platonic relationship."But when Rock went to London to star in a play in 1976 he had a passionate fling with Princess Margaret.He bedded Marilyn Monroe when both were rising stars.After skinny-dipping in Malibu, Hudson found: "She wasn't as innocent as she looked."Judy Garland arrived at his home naked under a raincoat, drunkenly begging Hudson to make love to her - which he did.He told few friends that he was dying, not even Linda Evans who had scenes kissing Hudson in the classic TV soap opera Dynasty in what became his final performance."Rock did what he could to minimise the risk of infection and it was the most chaste, closed-lip kiss, so lacking in passion they debated reshooting it," says Porter."But Rock considered dying with grace to be his finest performance.When he could no longer hide it he admitted that he had Aids and put a beloved face to what was then a terrifying plague."He spent his final days looking out across his beautiful garden, facing his demise with courage."By now the whole town has seen I've got a wife - isn't that enough? They divorced in 1958 after only three years of marriage.


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